Ever since having kids, my ability to quickly process information and make rational decisions has diminished. Greatly. Which means when my son is begging me to play with him, or my daughter is whining for screen time, my thoughts can quickly spiral.
Example?
I play with you a lot and it is totally reasonable for you to play on your own right now. It’s good for kids to be independent players. Moms in the 1950’s didn’t spend all their time playing with their kids. Besides, the kitchen is a disaster, so I’m going to clean it.
But kids don’t keep, and my kitchen will always be here. And on my death bed I’m not going to wish I’d spent more time cleaning my kitchen.
But without a clean kitchen making dinner will be frustrating, and I’ll get overwhelmed and be grumpy. And grumpy moms aren’t good either. Why is this so hard?! Why can’t I just make a decision without agonizing over it?
Like I said, it can be difficult to synthesize all relevant information and make an informed decision when you have your own guilt, as well as six articles, three memes, and your friend’s Facebook posts to put you in decision making, mommy guilt Hades. We make so. many. decisions each and every day and have so much information coming at us, we can easily find ourselves laden with mommy guilt and exhausted from decision fatigue.
This is why I have a routine. Because with a routine I can make informed, thought-out-in-advance decisions about what’s important to our family. And when all the thoughts start swirling I can fall back on that routine.
I can tell my son, “We just finished one-on-one time. It’s time for you to play by yourself, or you can help mama with chores.”
I can remind my daughter that show time comes after relaxing time.
When the kids are getting screen time, I don’t need to second guess it because I also know they’ve read and been read to, have spent one-on-time with me, and have had lots of free play to let their imaginations run wild.
Now, this doesn’t mean we never throw routine to the wind and watch a movie all morning when sickness strikes. Or ditch chores and head to a friend’s house when we receive a last minute invite.
What it does mean, is that our regular days are organized around what’s important to us. And because there’s a well thought-out plan in place, when chaos ensues and my rational brain goes out the window, I can rest assured that, despite what the Internet tells me, we’re all doing just fine.
Do you have a routine? How does it help you maintain your sanity?